The Bus Crash

Posted: April 11, 2010 in Cool Stuff just for you

 

by Rick Moyer 

Have you ever had something happen that has knocked the wind out of you?  I have had that physically and emotionally.  At the time it happens it simply hurts, sometimes it’s scary, other times it’s embarrassing.  All I want to do is recover quickly and get on with life.

I had a very vivid dream last night that I think might help anyone who has gone through a devastating time in their life.  It taught me a lot about a situation I went through a few years ago and how I was taking everything far too personally.

My dream started in a control tower.  I was helping a boss I had many years ago.  He was directing air traffic, and overseeing people.  In between giving orders he would consult a manual and mock the the instructions in it. He laughed off the fact that he was directing people and wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing.  I ended up picking up the slack for him while he goofed off.   I didn’t think it was very funny and was about to tell him to chill out when he got up and said, “Well get your stuff, we need to get going- we need to pick up the people.”  For some reason I did what he asked.  I packed up my sound equipment, my instruments and a saxophone.  We got on a charter bus and I packed my stuff under the seats in a compartment.  It was just the two of us and he got into the driver’s seat.  I sat in the right hand front seat and proceeded to chat with him.  As we pulled out into traffic he didn’t watch where he was going.  In fact he was very reckless and I got really nervous.  I didn’t say anything at first, but then I got very concerned that he was going get us into an accident.  I said, Hey, slow down!  And Keep your eyes on the road, I don’t want to die!

Somehow we got through town and started heading down a very windy road.  It was treacherous, because on one side was a rock cliff and on the other was the ocean.  He kept going off the road and hitting the soft rock and dirt in the shoulder, then steering back on the highway.  I was gasping at one point and I said louder- “Please slow down!  I don’t want to die, you are going to wreck the bus and we won’t be able to pick the people we need too.”  He didn’t listen.  He just kept talking to me and not looking at the road.  He was so self absorbed that he didn’t notice the danger we were in.  We then came to a very sharp turn and before I knew it he drove the bus right of the road into the guard rail.  We flipped over and the bus tumbled down the cliff landing in the water.  I could feel myself being beat up by the rolling motion and I blacked out in my dream.  Then when I woke I was treading water.  I was 40 or 50 feet away from the bus and my first instinct was to look for my boss.  He was nowhere to be seen.  I desperately swam towards the sinking bus.  Upon approaching I saw him.  From where I was at I could tell that he was dead.  His body was lifeless; his head under the water, there was no movement.  I realized that if I stayed close to the bus I would get sucked under, so I started to swim away.  I then remembered that all of my stuff that I used was on the bus still and was going to be ruined.  It was too late though, the bus was sinking fast.   As I swam toward the shore I heard the emergency vehicles approaching.  They were the filled with the clients that we worked with.  With all my strength I waved my hands in the air and yelled out so that I could be rescued.  But they didn’t hear me.  They were so concerned about the bus that many of them had plunged into the water and were trying to pull it to shore.  Some of them were trying to resuscitate my boss.  He wasn’t responding, and they kept getting mad and asking who was driving the bus.   I kept yelling, but no one paid any attention.  “Hey, I was in the bus with him, and I survived!”,  I kept saying.  But I wasn’t acknowledged.  Sometimes, as I was swimming, a person would look right at me and without words they would accuse me of crashing the bus.  I just shook my head and kept swimming until I finally reached shore, far away from the crash.  I was exhausted and fell onto the rocks.  Soaking wet I began to feel the loss of my boss and friend, and all of the tools that I used in my profession.  They were all gone.  Because of his foolishness and reckless behavior I had lost everything.  Even the clients didn’t understand. In fact, they didn’t even notice me.  They were so intent on pulling the bus out and reviving my boss that they completely ignored what I had just gone through.   As I sat on the shore and thanked God for my life, I asked why this had happened.  I didn’t get an answer.  The lights of the emergency vehicles and the crowd that had gathered at the accident site just got larger and all I could do was watch.

Then I woke up.

I usually don’t remember dreams with that much detail.  I did however realize the significance of the dream.  I believe God gave me the dream to acknowledge my feelings of rejection, loss and hurt from a difficult time that I had gone through.  The bus was the company I had worked for, the boss was my supervisor and the clients were the people that I had served with my life and tools.  They really didn’t have anything against me, they hadn’t rejected me on purpose, and they just were more concerned about the company.  The bus crashing had affected them, and they were responding as they best knew how.  Oh there were a few that blamed me for the crash, but most were simply trying to get the bus out of the water.

Many times we can’t understand why bad things happen to us.  I think it is because we don’t see the bigger picture, and we don’t understand human nature.  Hurt people hurt people.  It’s just how it goes.  It’s not a very nice thing.  People like you and me gravitate to a quick fix.  And many times we don’t think about others involved. 

Our job is to keep swimming and thank God for our lives.  One thing is for sure, God doesn’t ignore us.  He is good at listening and if we listen back, he will guide us to the shore.  All of the “things” we lose in times of suffering can be replaced.  The relationship may not all be restored, but if we can forgive we can move on to the next thing God has for us.  Sometimes crashes happen for a reason.  They can alter our course and pry our hands off of an unhealthy situation.

Take heart, the bus crash is over, regardless of who is at fault, and it’s time to move on. 

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Comments
  1. Emily P. says:

    So many things I want to say, but wont. Just know that I love you. And am always praying. Thank you for sharing.

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