Walking in the dark

Posted: October 22, 2008 in Cool Stuff just for you

 

As I read through and listen to 1st Samuel I am flooded with a miriad of thoghts. I want to journal about them here but before I get started I have to apologize.  Why?  Cause the last day or so I have been angry again.  I’m angry at change.  Have you ever felt that way?  You know, everything seems to be going on the course you are comfortable and thrilled with and then… for circumstances beyond your control everything changes? I am asking God to help me roll with the punches, and he sure is helping me, but it isn’t as easy as I thought it might be.  My only solace comes from spending time reading the word, walking or praying, other than that there isn’t anything to fill the hole in my heart.  TV is fun, projects and recording are great, but they don’t fill the part of me that is sparked with divine life.  They are all a result of the creativity that God has filled me with, but they aren’t God. 

So I listened to a sermon the other day about letting go and not blaming.  And it was good for me. It seems to be the place that get hung up on though.  Somehow, some way, I am going to have to be at rest being at rest.  🙂 

Here is what I got in my email this morning.  It nailed me to the wall.

October 22, 2008.  You have slipped back into some judgments of some
around you.  You didn’t mean to do it, but there are things you
observed.  For sure there is some wrong or questionable behavior.
You have spoken up, but don’t linger there, or treat these with
disdain.  Don’t separate yourself or reject them in any way.  I am
reminding you of this because this is not like you.  You are the one
who loves and accepts people right where they are.  I want you
remembering I am the only One who can change people.  Your task is
to pray and thank Me for moving in their lives.  Trust me changes
will be made. Ephesians 6:18 “With all prayer and petition pray at
all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with
all perseverance and petition for all the saints”

Feelings are a tameable animal, but they must be trained by the Word of God and a heart full of Jesus.  I must pray in the Spirit to gain perspective and trust that God knows right where I am at! 

On my walk yesterday I left a little to late and it was getting dark.  My ipod crashed as I was listening to the word and I noticed it was getting dark quick.  I had all these emotions and hurt running through my heart and about 2 and a quarter miles into the walk it got so dark that I called home and asked someone to come get me.  A lady actually stopped and told me that she couldn’t see me and got way to close to hitting me.  I didn’t count on it getting so dark so fast.  

But isn’t that what happens?  We set out right, but we let the emotions or hurt take us to a dark place and once we are there we are vunerable to getting hit cause we are in such a dark place.  The only thing that works then is to cry out for help and hopefully be resucued by a compassionate person that understands or at the least simply cares.  It matters not what circumstance I am in or who caused it for me, it is more important on how I am dealing with it.  That is what God looks at.

Prayer:

Jesus forgive my stubborn heart.  Help me to let go and let you be God in my life.  I trust that you have the best for me.  Please be the Lord of my emotions.  I am wrapped up in you, not what I do.  I appreciate your patience.  Help me to walk in the light and not get caught in the dark.  Thanks for rescuing me Jesus!  I love you!  Amen.

I am excited for today.  I get to have lunch with a good friend, and then I have a counseling appointment.  Yes!  Good stuff Maynard.

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Comments
  1. tytanshammer says:

    I am there……that has been my last 3 years…….I know what you are feeling………….all I can say for me is that I needed it to see me the way God sees me………I needed to find myself again…….the real me.

  2. allison says:

    PR…i enjoyed reading some of your thoughts! Just wanted to say I miss you guys and have been thinking of you alot. 🙂

  3. merrymarlene says:

    Hey Rick…I’m enjoying your blog & the prophectic is so cool…We are looking forward to Saturday…Also, I’m tagging you, Sherri tagged me….so you can go to my blog & see what it’s all about:0)

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